My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
