Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
