Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
