He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
