Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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