If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Semen is not good for contacts.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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