According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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