she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
