How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
There r osticjed everywhere
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
