that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
