I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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