when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
