You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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