Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
