Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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