What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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