I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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