This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
