in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You've changed since you got that strap on
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
