I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
