just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
