so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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