Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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