I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Is it penis luge time yet?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
