If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
