Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
