So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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