He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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