You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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