Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
