okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
