fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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