Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
