i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
