I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize