Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
