Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
