you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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