this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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