But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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