The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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