just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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