her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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