oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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