You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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