I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
