You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
