Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
