The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
