where am i from again
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
