why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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