you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
